The Fandom Journal

Disliking Gym Says You Are Thoughtful

You are thoughtful, philosophical, and downright cerebral. For you, gym is too intense and competitive. You aren't always in the mood for playing hard. You may or may not be into exercise - but any physical movement you do is under your own terms. You don't get your happiness through thrills or adrenalin rushes. Your bliss comes from quiet reflection.

This week I'd like to share my Spy Game fics.

Spoiler alert!

I'd like to explain a few things about my Wallander fics. If you're reading this, I assume you've already read my fics and you're prepared for major spoilers. I'm guessing some of you, if not all, might have expected a completely different ending than the one you get in Stay for a while.

I wrote the first two Wallander fics while I was still watching the series of Swedish Wallander movies. At the time, I had no idea how they planned on ending them.

Then I watched the final episode (starring Ola Rapace as Stefan Lindman - there are more Wallander movies without Stefan or Linda (more about that later). That movie pretty much pulled the rug out from under my feet. You might say I was 'Jossed' or in this case 'Mankelled'. That led me to reassess my views on Stefan. 

I remember reading that in an interview, Ola Rapace once said that Stefan was so boring he couldn't see how anyone would want to be involved with him. For a while, I agreed, to some extent, but the relationship between him and Linda was interesting enough for me to want to continue exploring it. In a way, it seemed as if they were more brother and sister than lovers. Stefan acted like a jerk to her. Cheated on her, but claimed they weren't officially involved, just room mates and presumably ff (Friends with privileges etc). Linda accepted that, not without regrets, it seemed to me, but they remained close.

It occurred to me that I might be able to slash Stefan and Wallander. The series didn't give me much to go on, but Wallander did react negatively to the presumed relationship between Linda and Stefan. That might be because Wallander was concerned about Linda's career, but I thought it might also mean Wallander was jealous. So I began writing my fics based on that idea.

Then The Secret was aired on Swedish television and of course I watched it with great interest. Unfortunately, it ended in a way that was a dreadful shock to me and I assume most other viewers.



I don't know. Maybe most of you think this ending is lame. If so, I'm sorry. This is what I came up with. I also thought it was about time Linda got to have a say. I was curious to take a look inside her mind.

Believe it or not, there's a hedge under all that snow. Don't ask me how that sort of slot was formed. It's about a hand high and an arm wide.



This is a snow-covered wall.

I've had it with winter! No more snow!

I almost forgot, it's time for another fandom - Spooks.

Since I've received quite a lot of negative feedback on my first post about this apparently sensitive topic, I'd like to make a few things clear.

I'm not against this type of thing (mainly going public with the fantasies, not anyone having them in secret) for moral reasons. What bothers me is when one woman's fantasy gets another woman raped. (And that's already happened, at least on a couple of occasions - it's been used as a defense in court). Whatever you might think of me, I'm not a prude. I'm open to many things, just not this (and a few other things that I'm not going to go into here).

Secondly, I know perfectly well that fantasies are fantasies, nothing more. What worries me is whether all men know this too and if so, will they respect it? That's all.

Having said that, I'd like to point out that I know men fantasize about being raped and have known about it for years. I'm perfectly ok with that, as long as these men don't automatically assume that all women like that sort of thing too. That's no excuse for raping a woman. I didn't think that even needed to be said, but apparently it does.

I'm sure it's fun for someone big and strong to (pretend to) give up control and submit to someone else, knowing that if the game got out of hand, they can easily put a stop to it. Great for them.

For similar reasons, I'm also perfectly ok with male prostitution. Because of their physical strength, they don't run the same risks as women do.

Lately almost all the books I've read have been disappointments, at least to some extent. I can't believe I've completely lost my judgment so I can only imagine that somehow the books (or their writers) or I have changed. It's probably the latter. The me of today has changed too much. I'm sadder and more disillusioned. Maybe if I manage to pull myself together and straighten my life out, I'll become more enthusiastic about books again. Don't get me wrong, I still love books, I just don't seem to feel as happy about them as I did, even three or four years ago.

I feel my life slipping away, slipping through my fingers, like in that awful biblical story I was told about in what the people who ran my daycare had instead of Sunday school (Saturday school?). It's been haunting me ever since. You probably know it, if you're familiar with the Bible.

A girl walks across a field. She's to pick only the best grains, but every time she sees what she believes to be the best, she catches sight of others in the distance, that seem bigger and better. In the end, she's walked across the field, her basket empty, and.she can't go back.

What worries me is that even though I'm probably somewhere on the field still, knowing I need to harvest the grains, I can't do it. There's always something preventing me and I can't stand still either, I keep moving ahead, in one sense, yet not moving at all, in another sense. It scares me.

I don't know what to do and I suppose not liking the few books I can afford, is the least of my problems. It's just that those books should be brightening my days and instead, they're not. A waste of money, that could have been put to better use elsewhere. Oh, well. Sorry about all the self-pity.

Time for another fandom - Sliders. As usual read the ratings and warnings.

So, now it's official. The 1990's are retreating even further into the past. From now on, I'm going to have to consider stories/tv series/movies etc from the 1990's 'historic'. It feels odd, I had barely grown used to the 'noughties' and now we're in the tens? Anyway, X files, Roswell and all those 'big' 90's series are now historic in the sense that you can hardly see them as contemporary anymore. Not like Heroes, FlashForward, Being Human etc. Scary, but I guess you just have to accept it and move on. Maybe it would be easier if the tv series, movies and music were just better.